Tuesday, October 20, 2009

thirty-seven: futile

Thanks for all your well wishes! Short post, but I figure that's better than nothing?

I wake up to soft, slow kisses and rough hands. "I hope you're well-rested," comes the gruff, raspy voice of Max, further pulling me out of my deep sleep.

"Yeah," I mumble, still not with it yet. I start to distinguish between the sensations he's causing and discern that his lips are above my navel and his hands are high on my sides, on either sides of my breasts, holding my tank top (I mean, Max's) up on my chest.

"Good. Because I believe it's your turn this morning." His words effect a shooting sensation between my legs, and I can't wait for him to make good on his promise. Next, his lips trail kisses past my belly button, but he stops once they reach the top of my panties. "Are you ready?"

"I was born ready," I tease, running a hand through his hair. "But seriously, Max. Don't you ever turn off? I'm not complaining, but seriously."

He laughs, moves higher up on the bed, and kisses my lips, sucking the bottom one into his mouth and biting gently. Good morning! What a way to wake up. "Do you know how long I've waited to wake up beside you like this? No where to go, no where to be, just you and me? Months. A couple of very long months. And now I've got you all to myself. I've got a lot of long, lonely nights to make up for."

I grab a hold of his forearms and make him stop. I need to know before he continues, while I can still think straight. "Wait. Max. Are you saying that you haven't had sex in months? Besides with me, I mean?"

He looks down at me with a smile that is both serious and lighthearted. "I haven't been with anyone since I met you. How could I? You were the only one I was thinking about." Oh damn it. What a perfect thing for him to say. To quote the South Park version of Kanye West, Max is a lyrical wordsmith genius. I feel the tears immediately build up and silently curse myself for being so emotional and like putty in his hands. Max cups my face in his hand. "What? Surely you didn't think I was.... You did."

Max leans backs, shifting his weight to his knees, and shakes his head. I feel empty not being so close to him, and I hate to think that he could be mad at me. I pout, "Can you blame me? I said I wanted to be friends, Max. I didn't expect you to live like a monk. And then I thought you didn't like me anymore." I lean forward and trace the cross on his side, biting my lip and trying to entice him into putting his hands back on my body, back where they belong.

"I just can't believe you didn't know," he says, sounding frustrated. "How could you not know?"

I shrug, still gnawing at my lip. "I just never thought.... It's just that I'm not the kind of girl that gets that kind of attention. And guys certainly don't wait around for me."

"Well, their loss. They don't see what I see in you," he says, leaning back over top of me.

This is what I wanted. I shouldn't ruin the moment, but I do anyway. The insecure chubby girl bubbles up and takes over like a split personality. "What do you see in me?"

Max sighs but plays along with me, caressing my cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I see a beautiful, sexy woman who's a little crazy and a little spastic, but she's never boring. Every time I think I've got her figured out, she surprises me." I laugh at him, and he cocks his head to the side, as if seeing me for the first time. "I see someone who's sweet and considerate and willing to anything for those she cares about. Selfless. And did I mention beautiful?"

I let his words echo through my core. Max is a master of words, and he knows how to put my mind at ease. I reach up around his neck and also rub my left leg against his. "No, I don't think you did."

"Mm, because you are beautiful," he murmurs, kissing my neck while his hands are palm-down against the bed on either side of me. "And what about me?"

Giggling at his game, I tell him, "Well, I see a very handsome man, who has eyes that sparkle like when the sun is reflected by the ocean. He knows how to make me smile and make me laugh better than anyone I know. He just makes me feel so good, like I'm brand new. And did I mention how amazing he is in bed?"

It's his turn to laugh. "No, I don't think you did."

"Oh. Well, just between you and me," I say with a wink, "he is." I pull his face toward mine and wrap my legs around his hips. I love his deep kisses and the way his tongue swirls around mine. Maybe I was willing to be selfless last night, but right now I want to be very selfish and demanding.

"Sounds like I have a lot to live up to," he continues to tease, kissing along my jaw, on my neck below my ear, then moving to my shoulder.

I run my hand through his short hair and close my eyes, savoring the sensations. As much as it drives me crazy how much he talks and just won't buckle down and do it, do me already, I can't help but banter back to him. "I have full confidence in you that you'll exceed all my expectations."

"Wow. I hope I don't let you down."

"You'll only let me down if you don't start already," I tell him sternly, practically begging for him to begin. "What does a girl have to do to get some action?"

"Ask a little more nicely than that," he laughs.

"I don't ask nicely. Just shut up and touch me already," I whine.

"Your wish is my command," he chuckles, touching me exactly where I want him to like he's reading my mind. Or maybe he's following a treasure map and he's finding my X that marks the spot. Either way, he definitely more than exceeds my expectations.

It's a strange situation I find myself in. Charlotte and I spent all of Sunday together, mostly being lazy, wrapped up in each others arms, and enjoying each other's company while it lasts. That makes sound like such a fucking sap, but there wasn't anything else that I wanted to do but relish in that moment and savor the present. The game on Monday was a home game against the Ducks. I knew she'd come to the game, but the team would soon be leaving on a road trip. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

The past few days were emotionally charged by confrontation, stress, lust, and laughter, too. I finally had her, kind of, but what would happen now that I had to be gone for a week?

The team was leaving on Thursday morning for Ottawa, so we said our goodbyes on Wednesday. Flower and Véro were going out for a nice dinner, as is their usual routine before a long road trip, and they (and when I say they, I mean Véro) invited us for a double date. Despite my initial hesitation at the idea of a double date, we all had a good time. I wasn't worried about how Charlotte would get along with my friends or if they would approve of her or anything like that. In fact, I was finally glad for the opportunity for Flower to get to know her, so he'd understand everything I had been saying previously. And Véro already likes her. But just the idea of a double date.... It sounds awkward. What if one couple is being more romantic than the other? Those two have been together since dirt was created, so how would Charlotte and I compare?

I couldn't believe I was getting so worked up over a simple date. But I haven't gone on a real date in a long time. A long time. Usually I just picked up a girl in the club and went home with her. I hoped I wouldn't do anything to screw up. Not only did I not want to embarrass Charlotte, but I didn't want Véro to think I was a scumbag or give Flower any ammunition to use against me in the locker room. We're best friends, but that didn't mean we still don't take jabs at each other.

Luckily, though, dinner goes great, very smoothly. Charlotte and Véro pretty much chat nonstop, and Flower and I merely listen and speak when spoken to. Charlotte and I hold hands under the table until our food is served, after which we eat in relative silence.

"Do you plan on ordering dessert?" the waitress asks as she eyes our table.

Flower and Véro shake their heads. Charlotte begins to say no, but I have to cut her off. "You can't go to the Cheesecake Factory and not order cheesecake. It's, like, against the rules."

She laughs and rubs her stomach. "You're going to have to roll me out of here if I eat any more."

"A piece of your brownie sundae cheesecake," I order, not even bothering to look at the menu.

"And coffee, please," Charlotte adds. She leans back against the booth seat. "I need caffeine."

When our waitress brings the dessert, I push it between Charlotte and me on the table. "Dig in."

"You're joking, right?" she asks, looking at me like I'm nuts. "I'm stuffed to the gills as is."

"Oh, come on. It won't kill you," I say, watching smugly as she shakes her head but uses her fork to cut off a small bite. "You didn't even get any of the whipped cream!" I swab a dollop on my fork and feed her.

"You're going to be the death of me, Max," she laughs, holding her hand in front of her mouth as she chews and swallows. "Is he always this pushy?" she asks the two sitting across the table.

"He's often a lot worse than this," Flower laughs. "Once he gets an idea in his head, he won't stop."

"Oh yeah," Véro giggles. "He gets whatever he wants."

I shoot them a dirty look over the table, and Charlotte cocks her eyebrow. "Is that so?"

I shrug and feed her another bite, which makes her roll her eyes but she accepts anyway. "I can be... determined. Most people just learn to stop trying to tell me 'no,'" I tell her with a laugh.


"Don't worry," I chuckle. "You'll learn, too."

And I teach her that lesson by the end of the night. After dinner is finished, Charlotte and I head back to her place. I walk her to her door, and she lets herself in. "I wish you didn't have to go on this road trip," she mumbles as she leans against me and wraps her arms around my neck, her lips mere millimeters from mine. "No offense, but I think I liked you better when you were injured."

I can't help it, but I laugh. "Way to be supportive. But this trip will go a lot better as long as you don't break your phone, and you actually talk to me. It's only for a week."

She exhales, her breath on my skin giving me goosebumps. I grab her waist, walk forward into her apartment, which makes Charlotte awkwardly take a few back steps lest I knock her over. "What are you doing?"

"Making the most of our last night together."

"But Max!" she giggles. "Gina's home. House rules."

"Can you be quiet?" I ask, smiling as I direct her toward her room.

"You should know. Not if you're doing your job right," she informs me with a blush. "Seriously, though, Gina won't be happy."

I continue to walk, pulling her into her room, closing the door behind me, and pushing her against the bed. Charlotte lets out a slight squeak as I fall on top of her. "Shh! You have to be quiet, remember?"

She bites her lip and still looks hesitantly at me. I can tell she wants to tell me "yes," but she's afraid to. "I can't. It's not fair."

"Don't you remember? I always get what I want. Resistance is futile."

Charlotte laughs and submits. "Okay. But if we get caught and Gina starts yelling, I'm going to say you held a gun to my head and made me."

"If that's what it takes," I concede, pulling her shirt over her head.


  1. bahaha
    what max wants, max obviously gets :]
    at dinner, they were OBVIOUSLY hinting about him getting charlotte!
    blahh i'm sad max is leaving her, so i can't wait to see how she reacts without him.

    yay for posting while loopy! =]

  2. "I haven't been with anyone since I met you. How could I? You were the only one I was thinking about."
    ^^ AWWWWWWWWWW Oh Maxie! You little softie =D

    "Mm, because you are beautiful," he murmurs, kissing my neck while his hands are palm-down against the bed on either side of me. "And what about me?"
    ^^ annnd way to bring it back down to the good ol' Max we all know and love lol.

    "No offense, but I think I liked you better when you were injured."
    I can't help it, but I laugh. "Way to be supportive."
    ^^ bahahaha I'm kind of with Charlotte right here... still hilarious though

    "Resistance is futile."
    ^^ Is that all it takes?! Those three words... if that's the case... lol

    LOVED IT!!! So glad you posted it! Might have been shorter than usual but it was no less amazing!

    Such a great update... I feel all lovey-dovey =D

  3. is there a paper ticket machine where I can get my number for my chance with him? Seriously? This was just funny, romantic, sexual... perfect. I love them together SOOO much! (Sigh) I can't wait till he's back playing in games. I miss him a lot!!

  4. Awesome update!!! Max is so sweet for waiting for her during all those months!! Hope that proves to her how much he cares about her! So funny about them breaking the house rules!!!

  5. You know Jay... I put in my Max order like five chapters ago! And he hasn't shown up yet :(

    Come on woman!

    Seriously though.... I loved it all! His neurosis about the double date, getting what he wants. All of it! Kudos

  6. Oh Max, you make my heart smile* LOL

    I hope you're feeling better! And if this is done while on meds, keep it up* :D

  7. Magnifique! Yes, he exceeds all of our expectations... Every woman should own a Max!

    "Those two have been together since dirt was created, so how would Charlotte and I compare?" I thought it was so funny!!!

    Thank you for this update, girl! ;)

  8. Sigh. Thank you for posting this even though you aren't feeling your best. I'm always happy to be single and unattached except for when I read your story. It makes my heart flutter and I almost wish that I had someone to cuddle with right now.

    Excellent chapter! I hope all goes well on the roadtrip. They were super cute at the restaurant and I loved how Max was worrying about the double date. too cute.

  9. Max never fails to make me smile. I love his stress about the double date and I love how everything worked out perfectly.

    And of course Max would break the rules. That's just his style. ;)

    And and and! Feel better!<3